i couldnt sleep today lol i....been really thinking about life lately.......so many things have changed yet i remain the same, and i feel like its only a status update rather than a life update if i make sense.

I realized that college isnt for me, i mean im stuck down here cuz of money and time, sooo my only hope is to get a job (already on it) and to practice art (working on it) but due to my family situation i.....havent feel good enough to draw at my hearth contempt.

The walking anoyanse that i have to call mom is pushing my buttons and invading my own space as of lately resulting in my old drawing tablet pen being fucked and destroyed by the gobling of dog she choose to get and later not care to tend too

i need to vent my frustration somewhere and for my own good i need to really not hold back sooooo.......


I hate it here, thats a point i need to make 100% clear, i hate the fact that i have to live in the same space with the cluster fuck of a whale of pure spite that is my mother, i cant stress this enough but life would be 500% more good if she had chocked with a dogs hair 5 years ago.
To give her some credits she showed me what kind of person i DONT want to be, and what life choices would lead me to what she is, from being a hateful bigoted control freak, to being a person who actively lets food rot to later eat as well to let dishes and garbage pile up thats just a piece of what i hate about here.
The second thing i hate from here is my step father, to put it simple hes a Man, meaning that he wont do SHIT, and the only thing he would do is hard labor work (badly btw) that will end up FUCKING HURTING HIM TO THE POINT HE CANT HOLD HEAVY MACHINES WITH HIS MAIN HAND.
Like how STUPID can you be or rather how stubborn can you be that you will willingly make the rest of your life a PAIN, and i mean he has pain for the rest of his life on his fucking hand.

Now combine this, a stupid MAN and a control freak of a Woman and you will get two people that will need a caretaker......WHO DO YOU THINK THAT PERSON IS????

I just cant....is stressful cuz they wont do shit to stop hurting themselves, i want to leave i dont care if they start to eat mud i just want out, i cant deal with having to keep my mom out of fucking up something and my step dad is deaf to any opinion about how he should stop doing stuff by himself.

And im just sitting here questioning if i should really get a job just to get back to a house that reeks with pain and a dog that has been so uncare for that i should probably shave his hair due to the ammount of knots in its coat

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