I really don't wanna get raped and disappeared in a hellhole male prison jc

Is that what's waiting for me? Is this where my life will end? Not in happiness, surrounded by loved ones and content with my accomplishments but instead relegated to some of the worst conditions imaginable while I'm tortured and stripped of my identity and all decency in favor of raw shame, dying unseen in the shadows and forgotten before anyone knew who I was or cared?

That future is too much to bear. I know I can't just assume what trajectory this country will take or whether I'll survive it. I just... The fact is there's plenty who have endured this already. I've only been lucky so far. Who knows when it'll be my turn. A few months from now, a year, five years?

I know the administration isn't getting everything it wants but it doesn't have to to fuck me over personally, it already has. I might be stuck with my dead name and gender forever because of these shit ass people.

And what, I'm just gonna pursue my education and move to Norway or something as soon as it's feasible? How long will that take? How long will it take for me to get what I truly want out of life. Why do I have to live in a place where my existence is demonized, criminalized and outright denied. You'll only recognize me one way but you'll harm me as if you know I'm not what you say I am, as if you know I'm just some fresh faced victim for you to crush. And because I'm not a breeding vessel, you think it'd be better to use me as a punching bag until all the life I have left leaves me.

I'm so tired of this world, I wish I could escape. But instead, I'm stuck in this hellscape, knowing I'll never be accepted as I am, knowing I'll never truly be safe, knowing my dreams will probably never come through even if I put in every ounce of effort I can...

I was gonna study before bed but I'm too tired now. I'll finish up studying for my exam tomorrow so I can focus on other things that are important

Fun fact, my ass is fat af