Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit

I got kicked out of my apartment for trying to protect my friend from my stepdad.

I’ve made multiple posts here about my stepdad (60 M) and how he’s been weird about me (20 MtF) being asexual, and has gotten worse since I met my best friend (20 NB), who is also asexual (I’ll refer to them as “A” for the rest of this post). He keeps trying to insist that we’re dating and that sooner or later we will have to have sex with each other.

I decided to stand up for us for once because while I’m used to dealing with this shit, I have too much respect for A to let him talk about them the way he does. He argued that since we plan on being roommates after college, that means we’re dating, since we have future plans.

Ignoring the fact that this makes no sense, I stood my ground and insisted that we’re friends, and that we’re not dating. He then went on to say that hanging out is the same thing as going on a date, as dates don’t have to have romantic intent, and that romantic and platonic relationships aren’t actually two different types of relationships, but are on the same scale, and that romance can be platonic.

He explained that partner is just the next step up from friend, and that romantic relationships can be platonic, and that a friendship and a romantic relationship are not two separate types of relationships.

He then said that if we truly aren’t dating each other that we’re both “still on the market” for other people to “claim”. When I told him that we’re not “on the market”, he yelled at me and said that that’s how “normal” people would see it.

The next day, he asked me if I would still be friends with A if they were a man (my stepdad doesn’t know that A is agender, and thinks that they’re a woman. I haven’t told him because he’s transphobic). I told him we would still be friends, and he insisted that this made me bisexual (which is completely inaccurate, as I’m asexual and probably aromantic too. I have only felt tertiary attraction to women).

He then asked how we would make enough money to live (A may or may not be able to work, but I’m literally going to school to learn how to be a programmer, which will provide quite a bit of money). He suggested that I find a rich guy to be my sugar daddy and have anal sex with him in exchange for money.

He then tried to convince me to have sex with A. A and I hug and cuddle, and he insisted that hugging and cuddling is inherently sexual, and that’s why he doesn’t want me getting hugs from my mom, as I have no right to want hugs from “his wife”. He said that “you can’t separate physical intimacy from physical intimacy”, and that’s why if A and I are comfortable hugging each other, we should have no problem having sex with each other.

I tried to explain to him for the umpteenth time that we’re both sex repulsed, and tried to compare it to how he’s grossed out by gay sex (he constantly talks about how disgusted he is by gay sex, like, multiple times a day). He then said that it’s not the same since heterosexuality is more common, and that it’s “natural” unlike homosexuality and asexuality. He then joked that A has probably been raped in the past and that’s why they’re asexual.

He then asked why I never bring A over, as he would like to have a closer relationship to the person he sees as his “potential future daughter in law”. He got really angry and started yelling at me to tell him why I don’t bring them to our apartment, and I started to say “so they don’t have to deal with you…” and then he cut me off. The full statement I was going to say is “so they don’t have to deal with you sexually harassing them”.

He started screaming “fuck you” at me over and over again and said I’m not allowed to live at the apartment anymore. He told me to go start packing my stuff and figure out where I was going to sleep that night (it was about 6pm so night was coming pretty soon).

I went to my room and started packing my things while I called A and told them that I’m being kicked out, and they came over with their mom and I loaded my stuff into her van. My mom told me that she’s mad at me

www.group-telegram.com/tw/asexualityonreddit.com/46172

34 viewsJun 9 at 19:20

I got kicked out of my apartment for trying to protect my friend from my stepdad.

I’ve made multiple posts here about my stepdad (60 M) and how he’s been weird about me (20 MtF) being asexual, and has gotten worse since I met my best friend (20 NB), who is also asexual (I’ll refer to them as “A” for the rest of this post). He keeps trying to insist that we’re dating and that sooner or later we will have to have sex with each other.

I decided to stand up for us for once because while I’m used to dealing with this shit, I have too much respect for A to let him talk about them the way he does. He argued that since we plan on being roommates after college, that means we’re dating, since we have future plans.

Ignoring the fact that this makes no sense, I stood my ground and insisted that we’re friends, and that we’re not dating. He then went on to say that hanging out is the same thing as going on a date, as dates don’t have to have romantic intent, and that romantic and platonic relationships aren’t actually two different types of relationships, but are on the same scale, and that romance can be platonic.

He explained that partner is just the next step up from friend, and that romantic relationships can be platonic, and that a friendship and a romantic relationship are not two separate types of relationships.

He then said that if we truly aren’t dating each other that we’re both “still on the market” for other people to “claim”. When I told him that we’re not “on the market”, he yelled at me and said that that’s how “normal” people would see it.

The next day, he asked me if I would still be friends with A if they were a man (my stepdad doesn’t know that A is agender, and thinks that they’re a woman. I haven’t told him because he’s transphobic). I told him we would still be friends, and he insisted that this made me bisexual (which is completely inaccurate, as I’m asexual and probably aromantic too. I have only felt tertiary attraction to women).

He then asked how we would make enough money to live (A may or may not be able to work, but I’m literally going to school to learn how to be a programmer, which will provide quite a bit of money). He suggested that I find a rich guy to be my sugar daddy and have anal sex with him in exchange for money.

He then tried to convince me to have sex with A. A and I hug and cuddle, and he insisted that hugging and cuddling is inherently sexual, and that’s why he doesn’t want me getting hugs from my mom, as I have no right to want hugs from “his wife”. He said that “you can’t separate physical intimacy from physical intimacy”, and that’s why if A and I are comfortable hugging each other, we should have no problem having sex with each other.

I tried to explain to him for the umpteenth time that we’re both sex repulsed, and tried to compare it to how he’s grossed out by gay sex (he constantly talks about how disgusted he is by gay sex, like, multiple times a day). He then said that it’s not the same since heterosexuality is more common, and that it’s “natural” unlike homosexuality and asexuality. He then joked that A has probably been raped in the past and that’s why they’re asexual.

He then asked why I never bring A over, as he would like to have a closer relationship to the person he sees as his “potential future daughter in law”. He got really angry and started yelling at me to tell him why I don’t bring them to our apartment, and I started to say “so they don’t have to deal with you…” and then he cut me off. The full statement I was going to say is “so they don’t have to deal with you sexually harassing them”.

He started screaming “fuck you” at me over and over again and said I’m not allowed to live at the apartment anymore. He told me to go start packing my stuff and figure out where I was going to sleep that night (it was about 6pm so night was coming pretty soon).

I went to my room and started packing my things while I called A and told them that I’m being kicked out, and they came over with their mom and I loaded my stuff into her van. My mom told me that she’s mad at me

BY Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit